February is here!! The chill is in the air, we wait for the groundhog to determine if we are having six more weeks of winter and AAHHHHH don’t forget about Valentine’s Day!! We barely get through the Christmas season and suddenly, the stores become flooded with flowers, chocolate heart shaped candy, stuffed animals, fine jewelry and nonstop commercials about the best gift to buy your loved one. Your friends and family ask you, “So what have you decided to get your partner for the big Valentine’s Day?” The nonstop, unnecessary pressure of spending lots of money for the perfect gift to make your partner happy on Valentine’s Day can drive anyone a bit overboard.
I say, “Happy Non-Valentines to All!” By this I mean, why do we have to put all our energy into ONE day of the year to show our loved ones how much we love them by showering them with overpriced gifts? Wouldn’t it be more meaningful to let your partner know each day how much you love them? Wouldn’t it be nice to be on the receiving end of hearing your partner tell you the things s/he appreciates about you on a regular basis as opposed to ONE day per year? Perhaps we need to focus more on the small but expressive actions 365 days per year as opposed to one grand gesture on February 14th. The key to any successful relationship is making sure both partners feel loved, validated, supported and heard on a regular basis. Therefore, I am wishing you all a very Happy Non-Valentine’s Day so you can all focus on the special moments you have with your partner for the other 364 days of the year.
Christine Prete LMFT