Has Football Season Come Between You and Your Spouse

Do the sound of whistles and nonstop commercials about beer and cars have you down? Well, you are not alone. Many wives take a backseat to their husband’s Sunday football, Fantasy Football, and College Football interests. Instead of becoming a “football widow” as many call it, you can take charge of your relationship during the months of August through February.

In an effort to stay connected with your spouse on game days, why not order a pizza or prepare some simple appetizers? Grab one of your favorite magazines and sit alongside your husband on the couch while he watches the game. You don’t have to be a football fan to spend quality time with your hubby. Sometimes just being next to each other can create a sense of closeness and support, even though you may not fully understand what a punt means or all the calls from the referee. Read your magazine about the latest celebrity gossip, catch up on the latest “good reads” or even paint your nails. This will keep you occupied and distracted from the games, but you can demonstrate to your husband that you support his interest while spending important time together in order to maintain a healthy marriage. Your husband may be surprised that you decided to take an interest in being with him during the big game. You know what they say, “A little bit goes a long way. “ Perhaps the next time you sit down to watch your favorite reality television show you might want to ask your husband to saddle up alongside you with his Fantasy Football stats and keep you company.

written by Christine Prete LMFT

Making Time For More Moments

People always seem to complain about how time goes by too quickly and how much little time they have to accomplish various tasks, whether it be at home or work.  They get caught up with  meetings, deadlines, holiday/party preparations, keeping up with others, extracurriculars, and household chores. Usually, they somehow find a way to make the necessary adjustments and compromises   so their lives can run smoothly.   However, in doing so, they often lose sight of something beyond these often superficial, self-focused needs –  the importance of family time.

Often clients present for treatment with feelings of disconnection from their partner or children and one proposed solution is arranging for one night a week for all to have dinner together as a family or engage in some family activity.  However, I often wonder what about the other six days of the week?  When did this quality time become so easily overlooked and undervalued?  Think about it – do you know your child’s favorite subject in school?  What about the name of their best friend or your spouse's/partner's pet peeves at work?  Contributing to this issue is the influence of social media.  Despite technology’s various valuable advancements, what often gets lost is the simple art of communication and expression of oneself with others.  This is something that is first learned by our interaction with our  primary socializers – our family.  Conflict often presents itself in therapy when one cannot socially assimilate to his/her surroundings which causes difficulty in functioning.

So let’s start trying to make more moments today by actively engaging with family members whether it’s asking about someone’s day, sharing a meal, going for a walk, watching television or planning an activity together.  This way, there are no missed opportunities and no regrets.

“We do not remember days . . . we remember moments “ Cesare Pavese

written by Teresa Milano LMFT

It's Never Too Late

It’s never too late to change your ways;
You can always start anew
Discard those habits you’re tired of
And fashion a whole new “you.”
Don’t consider the past a waste of time,
Just learn from your mistakes.
But if you want to forge ahead,
A change is what it takes.
So start right now and set new goals;
Decide what you want to do.
Be patient and take one step at a time,
But be sure to see each through
For as each step is finished
And you add it to the next,
You soon will see that you have built
A stairway to success.
Frances Gregory Pasch